And thus I, the smiling anchorite, the destroyer who blasphemes in the sulfuric heat of our lands, feel the freshness of belief inside of me and I dreamed of living among them though even them cried out: go gypsy, go. Let them exile me. I revere them I the speaker of beautiful truth none of the demagogue revenge guides me and for this I stand before you so you can hear me chiming my slow, funereal bell.
Deliverance Diaphanous or foggy because of your angst your eyes were overflowing with your emotional upheaval as you put on your nightgown and walked out to the fresh daybreak justification for your night-long ambivalence between your wish for divine inspiration and your deliverance from earthly eroticism
to the tiny chapel and monks’ refectory above the monastery ruins. Finten, with the girth but not the disposition of a jolly monk, puffed and panted to keep up with the abbot. Shortly after sunrise, Father Finten hurried down to the beach, his tan cassock of sheep’s wool blowing above his knees. A shock of unruly reddish-yellow hair blew from behind the stubble of his shaved St. John’s tonsure, and his scraggly beard groped about his face like strands of frayed hemp. Unless I can get these dawdling Brothers out to sea before ebb tide, we’ll spend another day and night on this rock-strewn island. Father Finten cupped his mouth to shout above the wind. “Brothers, Brothers. Hurry. We must be away.” Brother Lorcan, a midget of a lad, stood high on the cliff as a lookout above the harbour. Gazing out to sea, he seemed not to hear. Come on, Brother Lorcan. Dear Lord, can he not hear me? … Ring the bell. Lord. No. We must go silently. Father Finten mumbled under his breath. Finten was twenty- six, much younger than many priests of the order, but older than the teenaged Brothers he travelled with. A shrieking pair of gulls swooped down to squabble over a dead crab at the water line. More gulls arrived and soon there was a battle royal. Finten covered his ears. Screams of terror from a terrible time seized his mind. Twenty years earlier, his mother and three older sisters had been torn apart by Viking monsters. He had crawled beneath a pile of kitchen rags, afraid to breathe. When he peeked out at the blood spattered walls, his baby sister Ossia ‘Little Deer’ hung over the shoulder of a Norseman. Finten’s elder brother Senan rushed in to tackle six huge men. As Senan was brutally knocked out, a hairy hand seized Finten by the hair and pulled him from his hiding place. Brother Ailan, the cook, trying to carry too much at once, pulled Finten back to the present. The bucket Ailan dropped splashed water onto the path as it rolled several yards to crash against a large rock. Father Finten shook his head and muttered through tears “Clumsy oaf”. Finten still felt the whips, hunger, and pain. In his mind, he saw Senan, chained to a bench and pulling on the big oar, while he, far too young to row, carried the water bucket from slave to slave. The filled pail was heavy. Water slopped over the edge. From somewhere above he felt a slap and a kick, then more slaps, kicks, and laughter, as the pail slipped from his grasp and rattled, empty, down the sloping deck. A young Brother hurried down the path carrying sleeping gear and a basket of fresh-baked bread. He stopped and balanced his load to pick up the empty water bucket, which he handed to the smiling Brother Ailan. “Are you not awake yet, Brother? Did you not have a good night?” “Thank you, Brother Rordan. I slept.” Finten remembered the countless terrible nights when he learned to dread the dark. Norsemen did unspeakable things to boy slaves in the dark. Brother Rordan paused as he passed the troubled priest. “Are you all right, Father?” “Thank you, Brother. Get on with you now.” Finten’s rebellious brother, Senan, had been torn from him and sold to Danelaw pig farmers.