Tag: romance

Jazz with Ella

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said Chopyk with only a hint of irony. He stroked his beard and stared at her with curiosity in his eyes. “I understand from Maria that you have a class scheduled for this morning.”
“Yes,” replied Jennifer tersely. Don’t explain, don’t apologize. Last night is none of his business. “I want to hear the students’ experiences in Leningrad. I have my own to share, too.”
“But I also know that you have been cancelling classes while in Leningrad….”
“As we discussed that first night,” she broke in quickly, starting across the lobby.
“Yes, agreed…but….” Chopyk followed, taking small, deliberate steps beside her. She matched his fussy gait. What is this nonsense all about? Surely he isn’t going to punish me?
“Since I have been carrying on with classes while in Leningrad for any who care to study,” he sniffed, “I think it only right that you should lead both groups, juniors and seniors, while on the Volga cruise.”
So that was it. Once again, he had hit her at her most guilty moment. He wanted to lounge on the sundeck reading his academic papers and not have to deal with a pack of rowdy students.
“Certainly. I’d be happy to do that,” she answered. “I know how one’s research suffers when class prep is a priority,” she added archly. He appeared not to notice her tone of voice. They entered the dining room in silence.
★
That morning she ended her class by presenting a poem that Volodya had written out for her: an excerpt from “Spring in Leningrad” by the Russian war poet, Margarita Aliger. Jennifer told the students the story of the Leningrad mother who had suffered during the siege and how her son, Volodya, had been moved by this poem. Despite her own sense of loss, Hank’s bad mood and Ted’s hangover, the students rallied and they recited it in Russian, then took a stab at translating it.
“O city without light, without water!
One hundred and twenty five grams of blockade rationed bread…
Savage rumbling of trouble
from the pitiless, dead sky.

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Water in the Wilderness

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for a long, long time but she had heard her mom say that if he got upset about something, he was sure to wet during the night. She hoped and hoped he wouldn’t do that tonight. What was it Uncle Morley and Auntie Tyne said if something was bothering them? Oh yes, they always said, “Let’s pray about it.”
Rachael had forgotten most of the praying words she had heard them say, but it still sounded like a good idea to talk to God about Bobby. Quietly, she moved her hands so that the palms were together. “God, don’t let my brother wet the bed tonight,” she whispered. “He’s so small and afraid. And please, God, don’t let them send us to an orphanage. Make Daddy come for us soon.” She started to move her hands apart but then realized she had forgotten something. “And, oh yes – Amen.”
The house had gone quiet, so she eased herself from the bed and, in the faint glow from the street lamp on the corner, she made her way carefully across the room to the closed door. In the hallway, she tiptoed towards the bathroom, but stopped abruptly when she heard the baby whimper. Rachael waited, but Maybelle must have only been fussing in her sleep because, once more, the house was silent. She just hoped she wouldn’t rouse anyone when she flushed the toilet.
On her way back to bed, Rachael was a little less cautious. Apart from her uncle’s snoring, she heard nothing until she had almost reached her bedroom door. Then she stopped short as a sound from the boys’ bedroom across the hall caught her ears.
Crying. Someone in the boys’ bedroom was crying. Bobby!
Without even a second thought, Rachael pushed the door open and started towards the child’s cot near the far wall. She stared when she saw him, still fully dressed, lying quietly with gentle little snores coming from his slightly open mouth. She stood still and listened.
“What are you doing in here, Rachael?”
She swung around, every nerve tense, her heart pounding. Ronnie lay on his side, his head propped on his bent elbow. Even in the dim light she could see his swollen eyes and traces of tears on his lean cheeks.
“I … I thought Bobby was crying,” she whispered.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/192676319X

The Circle

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and then when they retire, most often they collapse from the stress of the
years they spent at work and away from home, like Matthew. What have you
been doing all your life, sweet Emily? What have you been doing for Emily? You
said the other day that you would like to get into underwater photography. How
are you going to do that being married to a man who has no time for his wife, let
alone for what his wife likes to do?”
Emily looks at him, but is at a loss for words. She knows he’s right, although
she’s afraid to admit that even to herself. The world is a scary place without
money, she knows. She also knows Matthew and Emily hardly make it on his
salary.
“It’s scary to think of being out there without the means to survive, sweet
Talal,” she utters, as if to convince herself that that is the most important thing at
this time.
“Yes, I agree. But what will you do to survive is the question, my sweet Emily.
Do you sell out what counts for the security of having money? This is a call we all
have to make.”
“That’s right, my love, do you sell out what counts?” she asks, instead of
answering his question.
He smiles brightly at her as if trying to see into her very soul and says, “No, sweet
Emily, you never sell out, no matter what. Because if you do, how can you face
yourself in themirror and say you have been true to yourself; I have been true to my
integrity, I haven’t sold out. That is what counts in life and that’s the reason I would
never sell out.”
“Perhaps you are right. But it’s different for a man than for a woman.” She
points out.
“No, my love, there is no difference. It’s only a matter of personal belief, a
matter of effort, a matter of achievement, a matter of commitment, that’s all!”
She lays her head on his shoulder and says nothing more, as if listening to the
gap between two words or two breaths, or two of her heartbeats that sound like
the song of a woman in love with this Iraqi man with the sweet voice and the sad
eyes. He’s very pleased that he has made her aware of Matthew’s work, because
he knows that, later, all this will sink in and the result is going to be exactly what
he wants. Talal sits listening to the song of the wind through the small park
where they sit, a song that unfolds slowly and methodically like a majestic eagle
spreading its wings to the heights of the sky.
They begin walking once more, holding hands and observing nature all
around them. They see the bright colors of the trees and flowers, and the shining,
splashing water of the pond where the sun’s rays reflect like crystals. They come
to a smaller pond filled with ducks making all kinds of sounds

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Still Waters

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Tyne held her hand and coached her to breathe through the spasm.
Before the contraction was over, the student returned with a middle-
aged nurse Tyne recognized from her time on Obstetrics. Miss
McMurtry immediately took charge. She lifted Jeannette’s gown and
gently placed the fetascope on her protruding abdomen. No one
spoke or moved while she listened intently to the baby’s heartbeat.
When Miss McMurtry raised her head, Tyne detected a glimmer
of concern in her eyes. Jeannette must have sensed something, too.
“Is my baby all right, Nurse?” She gripped Tyne’s hand. “I want my
husband. Oh, Tyne, can’t you get him? Where’s Dr. Kendall, Nurse?
Is he here?” The words tumbled out of the distraught young woman,
her eyes darting back and forth between the three nurses in the room.
With her free hand, Tyne stroked Jeannette’s forehead. The skin
felt hot and feverish. She tried to keep her own voice calm, but her
heart was thudding in her throat. “It’s all right, Jeannette, it’s all right.
I’ll go see if Guy is on his way. You’re in good hands.” She glanced at
Miss McMurtry and could tell from the expression on her face that
something was wrong.
“Dr. Kendall is on his way, Mrs. Aubert. He’ll be here any minute.”
Miss McMurtry nodded to the student, who began moving the bedside
table and chair out of the way. “We’re just going to wheel you
into the delivery room. It won’t be long now, dear.”
Tyne gently freed her hand from Jeannette’s grasp, and watched as
the two nurses moved the bed towards the door that led into the case
room. She took the opportunity to slip out to the nurses’ station.
After ascertaining that Guy Aubert had been notified that his wife
was in labour and almost ready to deliver, Tyne spoke privately to
the head nurse to obtain her permission to be with Jeannette in the
delivery room.
“Yes, Miss Milligan, I’ll give you permission to stay with your
friend because I understand you are now a graduate. Congratulations.”
The young, attractive head nurse smiled at her.
“Thank you, Mrs. McLean.” As she turned to leave the desk, she
noticed someone walking towards her. A young woman, so much
like Jeannette Aubert that they could be taken for twins, approached
timidly.
“Excuse me; I overheard someone call you Miss Milligan. Are you
Tyne?”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1926763068

The Circle

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same job that has bought his life out. When he sits in his office he feels like
another piece of furniture or even like the cheap print on the wall. All this for a
salary that keeps him and his family fed, but has kept him forever hungry for all
the other things in life which he has missed out on.
He has lived this life for thirty years of five days everyweek in the same office and
the same crummy hotel room. His life is like a wound up machine, well-oiled,
well-serviced to do as expected of him; a machine that uses little energy and that
produces a bit of something for the people above. Five days aweek away from home
and two days at home with Emily and his daughter Jennifer, who has grown up
without a dad and Emily, with a husband on call, with a life in pieces, in increments,
like an eyedropper giving a drop here and a drop there, enough to keep one seeing
something of life, but not enjoying a real life.
Many a time he has wished for a different job, a different life closer to his
family, but it’s too late now, too late for change. Retirement is coming soon and
he looks forward to that.
He gets ready monotonously, like a robot doing things as if wound up, like a
wound-up little man that kids play with, with his brand new batteries every day,
the same routine, every day the same sequence from getting up in the morning to
going to bed late at night. The TV, his opium, there to keep him company; the
TV close by, but his wife and daughter and everything else a human being likes to
have close, always far away.
In his office he doesn’t even say good morning to the receptionist, who has
been his smile-of-the-day kind of a person. She’s surprised when he doesn’t talk
to her on his way by. She knows something heavy sits on his heart; she has
noticed over the last few years that this man is just an automaton and the softness
of his heart—the heart she remembers from the first days she met him—is just
not there anymore. What a job can do to a person is amazing, but it isn’t her
place to ask him about it or to do anything about it. She knows that’s where his
wife comes in—when a man has something heavy in his heart. Dorothy also
knows she isn’t his wife, so she let his wife worry about it. But does his wife care
to know what sits heavily in her husband’s heart? Dorothy has never met Mrs.
Roberts.
It’s about nine o’clock, the usual time he dials the number to reach home.
“Hello there, honey,” he says, when Emily answers the phone.
“Hi Matthew. How are you, today?” A question asked for the millionth time,
and here comes the answer, repeated for the millionth time.
“I’m okay; how are things at home?”
“Everything is the same,” deep in Emily’s heart, she wishes things could be
different for a change.

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Jazz with Ella

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“Sit with me here on this bench,” he said, taking her hand gently. “You asked to know about me and my family. So look around you. Except for my mother and aunt, most of my family are here. My father fought the fascists—just outside of the city. He wasn’t a brave man. He had no choice. To serve in the army was better than dying in Leningrad.”
“And your mother?”
“She survived the siege. She had no food except the ration. She didn’t get skinny though. She puffed up, she told me, her legs swollen—and her face, too—with disease.”
At that moment, Jennifer could feel a disease working through her own body in sympathy, a horrible nausea, her head heavy, her arms like lead, then only emptiness.
Volodya went on: “That first winter, 1941, she told me that many people froze to death on the streets. Those who survived were too weak to bury the others. So they just stepped over the dead on their way to stand in the food lines.”
“But she lived?”
“Somehow she lived. When the city was liberated, my father returned and nursed her back to health. He had an army ration; it was only a little more food than the usual ration. He died two years after I was born in 1947. He had been wounded in the chest. He couldn’t breathe.”
“That’s ghastly. So your mother had to raise you by herself?”
“Yes, she and her sister. But I don’t tell you for pity. This is what I want to tell you.” He stood up. “Look around here—at this memorial. All the memorials around town are built in honour of our glorious fallen comrades. So many memorials for the dead.”
Jennifer had a glimmer of understanding now. She shook off the nausea.
“A few years ago I looked at how my mother was living—how damp is her apartment, how she still stands in line for food, and I decide to write to Comrade Brezhnev. I asked him how come so many things are done for the dead and so little for the living.” Jennifer shifted uneasily. “Soon two special men came to my mother’s door. You know what this means, special men?”
“KGB,” she whispered.
“Yes, they question my mother. What is her son doing? Does he make trouble? The neighbours see these men come to the apartment.

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Arrows

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Later that night she moved to Gregorio’s side, like a dog seeking
warmth on a cold night.
Benjamin raised himself on one elbow and tapped me on the
shoulder.
“A man is fire, a woman, pitch; comes the devil and blows!” he
said, winking at me. He lay down again with the satisfaction of one
who has delivered an important piece of information, and within
moments, he was snoring away peacefully.
I could hear Gregorio and Josefa conversing in whispers, and the
nagging worry about his possible secret religion made me vow to find
her a chaperone the very next day, lest things between them should
go too fast. She had no one to look after her reputation but me.

Indians say vultures take messages to God. Not for the last time, I
wondered whether they took souls, too.
On the day we faced Guacaipuro’s hosts conspicuously waiting
for us, several vultures circled high overhead, barely visible through
the thin fog dissipating rapidly in the first rays of sun. Having seen
them eating carrion, I was disinclined to hold them in high
regard—their presence was ominous.
We stood overlooking a valley and a river named San Pedro. We
were high in the mountains, and the air was pleasantly cool, like an
early spring dawn in Andalusia.
“May God be with you. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
Amen.”
The men rose, for they had knelt to receive my blessing. No
chanting this time. Gregorio and Benjamin stood closest to me.
Josefa watched from a few paces behind, her face sallow. Gregorio
went to her and took her hands. She broke her silence with violent
sobs, and Gregorio lent her his shoulder and his worn handkerchief.
I realized how little I knew about women. She cuddled against
him as she had done with me after she had killed that young Indian.
Gregorio took her demeanor as a token of her regard for him.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0981073522

The Circle

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She’s proud of her body and doesn’t hesitate to show it off. She takes
her seat and orders a glass of red wine, as well.
When seated and relaxed, she looks at Emily. Suddenly, she brings her hand
to her mouth and says, “Oh, my God, what is it? Tell me it isn’t—Emily, what’s
going on?”
Emily leans a bit closer.
“What is it? I’m just a happy woman. That’s all.”
“Who is he? Tell me, I know there’s someone. Just tell me who he is!”
Emily laughs at her, and admits, “Yes, there is someone. I’m crazy, Cathy! I’m
crazy to feel this way at my age. I’m crazy, you can say that!”
“Oh no, love, I don’t think you’re crazy at all. Just take a deep breath, and tell
me all about it.”
Emily sips her wine and talks slowly, as if afraid of people in the restaurant
hearing her talk, or as if she is afraid Matthew will hear from where he is. She’s
almost whispering and Cathy has to lean in close to understand her.
At one point, Cathy interrupts her and says, “My dear Emily, I have been
wondering for a long time when this moment would come. You know, with Matt
always so busy working and out of town. I’m proud of you. Life is for everyone,
you know? We all deserve a share in the sun. The question, of course, is when are
you going to tell Matt? Oh yes, one more question. You lucky girl, a
thirty-something-year-old? Is that Talal’s age?”
Emily laughs again and they both sip their wine. They have ordered salads
and when the waiter serves them they begin eating with relish. As they eat, Cathy
asks, “I suppose no one knows so far? Does Jennifer know?”
“No, no one knows other than you. You must keep it from Bob. I don’t really
know which way things are going to go or which direction I’m going to take right
now.”
Cathy leans closer to her, “There is only oneway to go in things like this, darling,
and that is the way of the heart. Don’t let fear lead you to failure; don’t fail me and
don’t fail yourself. Unless you want to regret it later. One fine day, you’ll wake up
with tears in your eyes and ask the terrible question in front of the mirror.”
“What do you mean? What question?”
“The question that says, ‘how stupid was I not to take the chance when I had
it?’ That’s the question, darling. You see, by that time it’s too darn late, even to
cry about it.”
Emily looks at her and admits Cathy has a good point. Deep in her heart, she
already knows what she wants to do, yet the fear is there, staring at her with a
sardonic smile. Thinking about it makes her spine squirm. How is she going to
find the courage to do what she wants?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0978186524

Water in the Wilderness

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“We can’t go back.”
Bobby pulled away from her. “Why can’t we? I want to go.”
“Because they don’t want us, that’s why.”
He looked up, cherub cheeks turning red, big brown eyes full of fire. “Who said so? I don’t believe you.”
Rachael turned on him, her voice rising. “Aunt Ruby said so. She said Auntie Tyne didn’t want us, and was going to send us away. That’s why Auntie Ruby took us in.”
Bobby kicked out at her. “I don’t believe you, Rachael; that’s not true. Auntie Tyne did so want us.”
“She didn’t, Bobby, and neither did Uncle Morley. And Aunt Ruby says we’re not to call them aunt and uncle anymore, because they’re not related to us.”
Bobby’s eyes opened wide as he looked at her. “What are we s’posed to call them?”
“We have to call them Mr. Cresswell and Mrs. Cresswell.”
Defiance written all over his small face, Bobby leapt off the bed and stood there glaring at her, “No, I don’t want to. I won’t, Rachael. You can’t make me.”
Rachael took a deep breath. She felt helpless and frustrated, at a loss to know how to deal with Bobby’s sudden rebellion. She would soon be eight years old, and should be big enough to protect him and make him feel better. But she didn’t know how. She didn’t know if she even believed her aunt, but she had to go along with what the woman said for Bobby’s sake, and her own. Somehow she had to convince Bobby to calm down and not get either of them into trouble.
She reached out and pulled him back onto the bed. “Maybe what Aunt Ruby says isn’t true, Bobby. Let’s just forget it. Why don’t you go play with Freddie now until bedtime?”
Bobby’s lower lip stuck out, and Rachael could see that he was trying hard not to cry.
“Don’t want to play with Freddie. I want to go to bed now.”
Rachael hesitated. She didn’t know if he should go into the boys’ bedroom right away because Ronald had been sent there …

https://www.amazon.com/dp/192676319X

Jazz with Ella

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As she and Michael drove down Fourth Avenue in the beater car they had just bought at a used car lot and had not yet fully paid for, she fell in love with the area. It was August under a cloudless sky and her window was rolled down. Chestnut trees hung over the street. A man in a bright serape and sandals was juggling vinyl pins in front of a health food store. Another man was handing out copies of what appeared to be the local newspaper, The Georgia Straight. Music blared from speakers in a record shop. Crowds of tanned young people roamed the streets carrying radios and backpacks. No one seemed in a hurry and everyone smiled. “Peace, peace,” one man called out to her holding up his fingers in a V as they drove by.
“Let’s live here, Michael, not in the student apartments. They’re so god awful concrete and gloomy.”
As usual, Michael’s reply was brief. “Maybe.”
He’ll come around as soon as he lives in Vancouver a while, she thought. Maybe he and Paul will become friends.
But that faint hope, borne briefly as they got out of the car and entered Paul’s building, was quickly dashed.
“Isn’t this great?” Paul said right away, hugging her and spreading his arms wide to take in the wicker chairs, battered sofa, tiny kitchen and a balcony with a glorious view of the ocean. “It reminds me of California, you know, where I grew up. I love it here.” He seemed so relaxed, so laid back, as they said out in Vancouver. He shook hands warmly with Michael who returned the handshake but stared at him as if he were a lab specimen.
“It’s great to see you here, finally, Jennifer. And Michael, too. Let me show you around.” They examined some of Paul’s nicer possessions including a collection of Russian literature and a brightly polished samovar, with Jennifer ooohing and aahing periodically.
“We’re quite close to the Russian community centre here,” he told them. “It’s cool to visit.”
“It’s perfect,” she cried. “Isn’t it, Michael?”
Paul relaxed. “Just about. The only thing that would make my life complete here would be a girlfriend. Sue and I broke up.” Immediately Michael’s expression changed from one of puzzlement to repugnance. He began to bristle, Jennifer thought later. It had to be jealousy. But why? Paul had always been her good friend. Michael knew that, accepted it, or so he had said. Men, she thought with exasperation.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1926763246