ILLEGAL INTENT ULYANOVSK, JULY 18, 1974 Maria’s eyes were dreamy and romantic as she twisted her own “first promise” ring. “They were such a cute couple,” she sighed. “Did you see how he looked at her—with so much love?” “I only hope she feels the same way,” Jennifer said. “I can’t believe he just walked out of that park without a backward glance,” said David. “I couldn’t do it. Leave my life behind, my family back in Canada…” Jennifer, Ted, Maria and David had gathered at a dinner table aboard ship where they were reasonably sure there was no bugging device. They had determined this the day before by the simple expedient of dousing the table “accidentally” with a pitcher of water. A waiter had immediately stripped the table and replaced the cloth while they watched. “We have to be cautious,” said David, indicating the room at large. Only a few other diners were present and the dinner had been delayed once again. “Our first item of business…” “Excuse me. Have we elected you leader?” Ted asked. “Could you at least listen to me? Our first item of business is how much we tell the others—here’s Hank now and he looks as if he wants to sit here. And then there’s Lona, who some of us mistrust, and we should decide that before she arrives.” “Everyone’s got to know,” pointed out Maria, “except Natasha, of course. Don’t you think people are going to miss Paul? Though maybe not everyone needs to know about the second part of the plan, about Volodya…” “Agreed,” replied Ted. “But there will have to be a few of us who know about the second part so that we can help.” Jennifer thanked him …
I Want to Leave I want to leave this place, to go far away I want to become golden dust in the air simple element, free, brave to an unfamiliar new land I’ll go where things of the world will appear like dreams and they’ll talk to the soul where the nice faces of people will smile and where I too shall be beautiful where, my god, darkness wouldn’t exist in the night, nor in the despair of the place upon the horrible skyline or in the wind’s wailing nor in the glances or words of people where there won’t remain anything but a little joy and satisfaction where all will say that they have left forever that perhaps they are all already dead.
“Thank you, Hakim; I’ll be in touch when I’m in L.A. Bye for now.” He has committed himself to the task he and Ibrahim discussed the last time they were together. This makes Bevan Longhorn feel more relaxed and peaceful inside. His good, old friend, as he calls him, is right and Bevan knows what needs to be done, before the end of the year. Hakim’s mind flutters to a variety of things, as he tries to figure out what the Admiralmeans by his crypticmessage about needing to see Ibrahim before the end of the year. He shreds themessage and then sits at his workstation and opens the line to communicate with his uncle. It’s no later than ten o’clock at night in Baghdad. “Hello my dear uncle; are you there?” “Hello, my dearest son. I’m here doing some paperwork; Mara is in bed already. How are you?” “I’m good; Talal is flying today via New York. He is flying with American Airlines, flight number A3552. Expect him in Baghdad by four o’clock in the afternoon, tomorrow.” “Good. I’ll have Rassan pick him up; is Emily Roberts with him?” “Yes, of course. Bevan sends his regards.” “Oh, thank you, my dear boy. Please tell him hello when you see or talk to him, alright?” “Yes, my uncle, everything else is the same here. Bye for now.” About 12:30 p.m., Hakim and Jennifer start off to pick up Talal and Emily. Jennifer is still jittery and Hakim tries to calm her down. “Come now, baby, relax. You behave as if you are the one who is traveling; it’s Talal and your mother. They’re going to be just fine and will have a good time, you’ll see.” “I know. I know all that; yet, my mind doesn’t know how to stop worrying. What do you want me to do?” she looks at him distressed. “I know what you need; when we get to the airport I’ll show you. Don’t forget you must be strong and relaxed for your mother’s sake.”
Emily is still very upset about the idea of flying on such a long trip. Talal goes to the bar and pours two glasses of wine. “Come, my love. Have some wine. It will relax you; we’re going to be fine. Don’t worry; you’ll make Jennifer worry if she sees you like that. Then she’ll have a hard time while we’re away.” Thinking about Jennifer and with wine in her system she feels better in a matter of minutes, and when Jennifer and Hakim come in, they find Talal and Emily relaxing on the couch waiting for them.
In the Forest I saw you among the leaves in the waters in the light of the leaves in the leaves of the waters in the reflection of the moon in the water I saw you in the lakes, in waterfalls in the lakes that light creates in the waterfalls where light tumbles light encircling your body. You were coming out of the trees walking, floating over dewdrops over smooth shining caresses in the insubordinate black of the night… ah, the night steams behind your shoulders vapours on wings and a mysterious triangle shines on your chest: dazzling target of beauty. From the grassy areas to the hairy tops high up to the crowns of the superior branches the highest frieze of lunacy in nature the voices of dead moths the spring of springs the unbearable bird of sorrow I hear with your voice that rises from the depths where the bile and the soul in one voice refuse to die. everything that’s yours raves in the thickets, in the grassy empires of the dreams in the glorious silence of the ivy in the silent syncope of the fern in the vinous fainting of the autumn leaves. Your meaning gushes out: that no life is stronger than lust no act more final than poetry. ere where you touched me where I flowered where I almost died from where I called you adorning your other nature there where I was crucified where I suffered for your fairy-like grace there where eros was light but with heavy consequence for the water. Untamed in the ruling of reality tell me, how I might see you again coming out to the opening of the trees with your thin legs wrapped in wisterias with the sperm of birds in the roots of your hair you who brought the sky for whom I spent hours gazing through the window for whom the crows shifted their nests you who spoke the words that resembled wild marigolds on the hillside you who shone: lips and words you the superior being of poetry in the creek.
Coffee Boiling hot aromatic coffee upward whirling fragrance tiny table our legs were touching under it entangling slowly when your eyes dived deep in mine imperceptible movement of your lips meant your anticipation for my prodding of your mind to lustful thoughts erotic undulation amid waves of a sea angered and passionate and leaving the cup of coffee you put your hand over mine sign that ready you were for the transcending rhythm of Eros
and, unlike Padraig, who did his best with what physical strength he had, Michael was a farmer to his finger-tips: strong and tireless, with an instinctive knowledge of the land and its needs, bred into him through countless generations of farming ancestry. For these very different characteristics Caitlin loved them both. Michael was late today and that was unlike him. He knew how much Caitlin hated unpunctuality and he never showed up late for anything without good cause. Something had delayed him. Caitlin stood up from the rock on which she had been sitting and started along the footpath to the harbour, hoping she would meet Michael on the way. A strong breeze from the sea flicked her 1ong, black hair and flappered her skirt like a flag on a pole as she strolled along the path. Tussocks of grass bent over in the breeze like peasants in potato fields. Seagulls sliced the wind with bladed wings. Shags skimmed over the waves, and gannets plunged for fish like suicides. The air smelt of sea-wrack and salty pools. Then Caitlin thought she heard her name being called. She stopped and turned and saw Nora hurrying towards her. She waited till Nora arrived beside her, breathless and smiling, almost laughing. “You seem to be in good form today, Nora,” Caitlin said. Nora linked her arm through Caitlin’s, and they dandered on towards the harbour. “Oh Caitlin, Flynn’s back. He’s back for good. We’re not going to live in Dublin after all.” “Well, no wonder you’re in good form,” Caitlin said. “I’m glad you’re not leaving. I’d have been lost without you.” The girls sauntered along in silence, arm in arm, almost mirror images of each other, save that Caitlin wore an old blue cardigan and Nora a brown, woollen coat. An unbiased observer might have said that Nora was the prettier of the two. There was a hardness to the line of Caitlin’s mouth and a certain insensitivity in her eyes, both of which were absent from the gentler, softer features of her sister. Otherwise they bore the physical characteristics of twin girls. As they approached Purdy’s Point they stopped to watch the waves break on the black dike and the wrack-covered rocks. Nora kept her arm entwined in Caitlin’s but she said nothing. “What’s on your mind, Nora?” Caitlin asked at last. Nora hesitated, her eyes still fixed on the choppy sea. Then she turned to Caitlin and said, “I was wondering about you and Michael.” “What about me and Michael?” Caitlin asked, though she knew well what was coming.
FORGIVE me, oh Lord, that I survived since You had secretly placed my life under a peplos like lovers, at night, who hold someone else in their arms while they stand behind, in the shadow, and ah, to tread the world is nothing but a sob. However, under the lighted torches of the evening let him be blessed who is ready to forget like the farmer who throws his seed on the ground until autumn when we light the oil lamp earlier and all the silent people resort to words that perhaps save us somewhere else.