Small Change

Excerpt

I started walking, away from the fence. After about fifty yards, I came to an apron of freshly cut grass that bordered a wide road and a neighbourhood of the largest, most beautiful houses I had ever seen. Brick and fieldstone, white clapboard and freshly oiled cedar, some of them three and four storeys high, with ample porches and verandas and sprawling lawns. I limped a bit, but managed to make some progress along the wide, grassy median in the centre of the street I immediately thought of as a thoroughfare. What is this place, I wondered, and who lives here?
They were oddly dressed. The boy wore a striped tee shirt, a white cap which I later learned was a Polo hat, and knickers that were tucked into black stockings just below the knees. Two of the girls wore summer dresses in soft pastels, yellow and sky blue, with puffed shoulders, matching socks, and matching bows in their hair. They had white shoes with ankle straps, not sandals, exactly, but something like, and the third, taller girl wore white court shoes, white shorts with a white leather belt, and a vee necked tee shirt. Her honey blond pony tail hung half way to her waist and was tied with a white band.
I was astonished, but drawn toward them as if by a huge magnet. They seemed like sky children, but were so recognizably earth-bound I wanted to talk with them, to know what their lives were like. Especially her, with the startling eyes.
I stood very still until they became aware that I was watching them. They stared back, then they looked at each other. They seemed puzzled. I crossed back to the sidewalk and started up the lawn that sloped down from their slate grey house. They seemed hypnotized, or stilled by bewilderment, alarmed, but unable to break the spell of my dirty, sweat streaked face, torn jeans and bloody shirt.
Except for her. She looked straight at me, so directly and with such an open stare it stopped me in my tracks. I felt something I’d never felt before. It seeped into my chest and throat from a place I never knew was in me. It was as if I had seen her before, or known her all my life. Her face – the smooth skin, deeply tanned like her arms and legs, the full mouth, high cheekbones, and green, green eyes – burned itself into my memory and what I read there was not fear, but curiosity, because I was strange to her, and concern, because it was clear that I was hurt. There was something else too, and it made my heart accelerate.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1926763157

In the Quiet After Slaughter

excerpt

The group visited a cultural village. They were greeted by locals
wearing heritage garb and playing traditional instruments. Theirs
was not the only vacationing group in attendance. Her travel companions
tallied the number of languages overheard in the gift shop.
Harold was hungover, Winnie exhausted. She felt the ground
rotate beneath her feet. That morning they took turns using the bathroom.
– Are you feeling all right? Karen asked her. They’d been ushered
into an uncovered grandstand and left to dehydrate.
– I know it can be a little overwhelming the first time.
– Better keep an eye on Harold, Winnie said. His ancestors were
Norwegian.
A translation was read aloud about the importance of the dance.
All Winnie remembered of it, she told the gals back home, was that
the jig had been enacted for thousands of years. The steps told a
story. Through a slit in the curtains she could see the performers
extinguishing cigarettes and changing out of their western clothes.
It surprised her to learn that in this troubled land much was made
of longevity. Repetition seemed sacrosanct; the past, one’s forefathers,
were worshipped like deities. As the dancers stomped across
the stage she considered how different it was from the true north
strong and free, where there was a 12-step program for every misfortune,
where one was encouraged to forget, to move on, let go. To
erase people and things as though they’d never existed.
And stitch quilts.
Their last night she decided to say something. She’d promised herself
she wouldn’t, but she couldn’t help herself. Days she neglected
to take her prescription, Winnie was quick to boil.
– I thought, she said to Harold, we’d do something together.
We’re going home tomorrow.
He sulked through dinner and complained afterwards of heartburn.
It disappeared when Phil came by.
She decided not to wait up or visit Donna’s room, where some of
the others would be comparing what they believed were bargains…

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/0980897971

Small Change

Excerpt

“It’s kinda like football. All you gotta do is get through dat gimlet.”
I thought, it’s gauntlet, you ignorant shit. Then I started running.
They tried to stop me, with their arms, their legs, with kicks and punches,
but they didn’t tackle me or stand in my way. When I broke through and
stood panting on the grass, I had a fat lip and I could feel some blood trickle
down from my eyebrow.
Buster nodded. “Okay. Now you gotta have a name.”
“I already have a name.”
“A gang name, pal. A gang name.”
Buster thought about this for a minute, biting his lips like a
schoolgirl, then he laughed.
“I got it! Yer name is lucky cauze, like I said, dis is yer lucky day.
You gotta knife?”
“No.”
“Dat’s all right, yuh kin use mine. Yuh hafta cut yer gang name in
yer arm like dis,” he said, holding up his freckled forearm. Thin, crooked
letters scarred the sunburned skin with what looked like BUSTER. I
couldn’t believe how stupid it looked.
“But first yuh gotta do one thing.”
The gang spread out and formed a large circle with Buster and I at
its centre.
“Yuh gotta fight,” he said. “Yuh gotta fight ME.”
He went into a crouch and poked a fist in my direction. I thought, if
I had a gun, I’d shoot him. Suddenly the whole morning struck me as a badly
drawn episode in a comic book. I shook my head, “No way.”
Buster came out of his boxing stance. He looked puzzled. He
came up and patted me on the cheek. Then he drove a sharp left into my
stomach. There was barely time to tense my abs and the shock of it drove
me back a step. I crossed my arms over the pain and took a deep breath.
“Come on dere, Lucky, you gotta. It’s the ‘nitiation.” He sounded
sweetly reasonable, as if all the world agreed, this is the way things are
done. “An hey, if ya win, you kin be leader.”
“I don’t want to be leader, Buster. I don’t even want to join your
gang.”
“Too late, pal. An I’m gonna keep hittin ya till ya tryan hit me
back.” He laughed a mean little laugh and backed down into a crouch. The
ring of gang members moved in a little closer, their bodies tense,

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1926763157

Small Change

excerpt

Tunnel Vision
I WAS UP BEFORE DAWN, excited, but my sense of adventure was shaded by vague misgivings. There had been something in Buster’s voice I couldn’t quite identify, something everyone else understood, and their knowing smiles had made me uncomfortable.
I shrugged off the memory, slipped out of my pyjamas which I left in a pile on the floor, dressed quickly in a tee shirt, jeans, Keds sneakers, a Yankees baseball cap, and tip-toed down to the first floor kitchen. It was still cold, even on an August Saturday, and I shivered as I wolfed down my corn flakes with milk and fresh figs from the beloved tree in Z’Andonio’s next door garden. I left the dish and spoon in the sink and walked out into a brisk morning, sunlight just beginning to gain strength above the houses and trees.
An hour later I was crouched at the edge of a drainage ditch under the railroad bridge behind number five park. I had drifted off, imagining fish in the murky, slow moving water by the time they started to show up in twos and threes. They raised a hand or nodded or mumbled hi, but that was their only attempt at communication before they wandered off to sit by themselves.
Buster arrived around nine. He was Skinhead’s cousin. He’d come to stay with the Whalens for the summer and he hadn’t been on the block for more than a few hours before he’d organized everyone into a gang he called The Blue Damons. He meant Daemons, but I didn’t correct him when he called out to me as I sat on my front porch reading a Zane Grey western, and invited me to join them. My initiation was scheduled, he said, for Saturday morning, at dawn. I wanted to suggest high noon, but didn’t think he’d get it, so I said okay and went back to my book. It wasn’t dawn, or high noon either, but it was time. They all stood and walked over to meet him. I stayed where I was and just waited. After a brief exchange of low murmurs and a burst of laughter, Buster disengaged himself and came strutting through the criss-crossed shadows of the bridge.
“Did ya know dis is yer lucky day?”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1926763157