Tag: ptsd

Small Change

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excerpt

As he comes up off the beach road and turns into Andrews
Street,
he is surprised by voices. To his right, the spacious
yard of the Simone
place is crowded with people. Strings of lights from the trees to the
outdoor kitchen swing in the light breeze. He feels a twinge of discomfort.
If they should see him they will insist that he come in, and the moment
he has timed his return for will be lost… But no, they are surrounded by
lights, food, music; they are having a good time; they will not notice his
brief shape in the night.
As soon as he enters the house he knows it is empty.
There is a note on the kitchen table.
Dearest Rico,
We are all at the Simone’s across the street. Please come.
Your loving mother,
Andrea
He returns to the darkened living room and sits in the big, soft
chair. Should he go over and ask Marianna to come back with him? They
will want to know why. They will smile and wonder and tease and he will
have to admit… he will have to say… and they will make fun of him, they
will think he is a crazy kid.
He remembers that his aunt always practises
her piano just after
dark and as he consoles himself
with that thought he hears footsteps on
the gravel walk outside.
The door opens and Marianna stands for a moment looking
puzzled. “Rico!” she says, “What are you doing sitting here in the dark.
Didn’t you see the note? Oh, I’m so sorry. You must have thought we all
abandoned you.”
He gets down out of the chair. She comes to where he is standing
and gives him a hug. Without meaning to, he stiffens.
She backs away and
looks down at him, her head tilted to one side.
“What’s wrong, caro? Are you all right?”
He doesn’t know what to say at first, then he goes to the piano
bench and opens it. He takes out the papers he has worked on and holds
them up to her. Suddenly he feels very small, and scared and shy.
She reaches down and smoothes his hair.

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In the Quiet After Slaughter

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She was waiting for a table in a Nassau restaurant, a frumpy, frazzled
woman with a peeling snout, saying to him, Haven’t I seen you
on the Sunrise?
They’d returned from the shore excursion together, he lugging
her shopping bags while she propelled her wheel-chaired mother
along the island’s potted beach road. Later that night she turned
up at the piano bar, drained a Mint Julep, then exited. Buddy
sought her out the following day. She invited him along to a lecture
on seabirds.
– Remember what the boss say, Sam cautioned.
The cruise line had always been ambiguous about the help fraternizing
with guests. Inappropriate friendships, as such romances were
called, could be cause for dismissal. But if shipboard dalliances
resulted in the booking of additional holidays— if a passenger went
home with a smile on her face—who’d complain?
This woman wore unfashionable clothes, sensible shoes and little
makeup. While others took elaborate measures to conceal
their weight, she flaunted hers. Had he passed her on the street
Buddy wouldn’t have afforded her a second look. Yet in her presence,
that sunburned nose, the nectar breath, she wielded the
power of a sorceress. For the first time in his life the piano player
was beguiled.
– This one, he confided in Sam, is different.
One morning over coffee he was doodling on a coaster. As though
in a trance, he wrote, Her eyes look inside my head and see everything.
He underlined the last word.
At the card table behind the engine room they had a diagnosis for
Buddy’s affliction: Man Overboard. It’s what they called it when a
player fell for a passenger. So named since a despondent Filipino
waiter, having been rebuked by a flirtatious diner, jumped from …

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Poodie James

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“From the standpoint of the police department,” Mr. Stout,
“things are well in hand.”
Spear waited for the crowd to settle down. “Now we come to the
matter of the train derailment and fire a while back.” For the first
time, Engine Fred thought, Spear seemed unsure of himself. “It
has been suggested that hobos from the jungle interfered with the
train and had help from someone in the neighborhood.”
Whispers coursed through the room. Albert Swan cleared his
throat. Clever of Torgerson, Spanger thought, to plant that notion
with Spear and let his political enemy make it public. “I’ve heard
the theory,” he said.
“I know you investigated personally, Chief. What did you find
out?”
“The railroad’s investigator told me the accident was the fault of
poor track maintenance. He said there was no evidence of sabotage.
We’re waiting for his formal report, but that was his finding.”
“And what do you think, Chief Spanger?” The question came
from Stout.
“I think that the head accident investigator for the Great Northern
knows his job. There is no reason to doubt him. Besides, why
would a hobo who depends on trains for his transportation want to
wreck one? Doesn’t make sense.”
“It might,” Stout said, leaning forward, “if the hobo and his
accomplice wrecked the train so they could come to the rescue and
be heroes.” He shifted his heft to the back of the chair. A buzz ran
through the audience.
So that was it, Sam Winter thought, the crackpot scheme to
draw Poodie James into the mayor’s campaign against hobos was in
the open without Torgerson’s having to spring it himself. He
looked over at Clarkson. Engine Fred sat staring at the front of the
room.
Spanger’s voice took on an edge. “That is a serious charge of
criminal activity, Mr. Stout. There is no evidence to support it,
none whatever.” Stout shrugged and gave Spanger a faint smile.

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In the Quiet After Slaughter

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excerpt

He was making his way to the bar when a stranger blocked his
advance.
– What you want? the man said. One eye had been inexpertly
sewn shut. Dis a private establishment, pilgrim.
Redman’s muscles twitched. He enjoyed a good row, it was a
Yukon sport, but on his first night out? Besides, the fellow had
shoulders broad as a linebacker. His fists were the size of five-pin
bowling balls.
– You best turn around, mon.
Redman feigned resignation, retreated a few steps — but then
pushed into the crowd. Convinced he’d lost Cyclops, he slipped into
a vacant seat and ordered a beer.
A few drinks later a girl approached his table and began dancing.
Her plump black thighs glistened with perspiration. She had breasts
and lips women like Marge would pay to replicate. Her hair was a
tangle of dreadlocks.
Ace jumped to his feet and began to move.
Boom-boom-ba-boom . . .
Oh, yeah.
The girl led him deeper into the crush of dancers. And then he
was being nudged into the washroom, its only exit blocked. The girl
was waved away.
– What I tell you, mon, huh? Dis place not for your kind.
There were machetes and at least one pistol tucked into a waistband.
All attached to four very large and fierce Caribes. The Cyclops
appeared to be their leader.
– You a crazy motha, know that, pilgrim?
The heat and the booze had caught up to Redman. He was out of
gas and the odds were against him. So he approached the man with
one eye squeezed shut and played his only hand.
His name, he said, was Johnny Cool, and you bet he needed a job. It
seemed most able-bodied men on the island did. He was in the lobby
sucking on sugar cane when Redman stepped from the elevator the
next morning.
– The dancer, she yours? he asked.
– Dey all mine.
– Have her checked out. I’ll want to see the certificate.

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The Circle

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Ibrahim comes and leads him away as Emily is busy talking to Mara and three
other women.
“Come with me, son. I’d like you to meet a couple of important people.”
“Gentlemen, this is my son, Talal, from the United States,” he addresses a
group of men standing together in a small circle. “Talal, this is the Minister of
Finance whom you met before, Omar Salem, the Minister of Transportation and
Tourism, Khaled Al Marsi, and the Minister of Natural Resources, Omar Bin
Housein.”
They all shake hands with Talal and exchange the customary greetings.
“He’s a chemist,” the Minister of Finance says to the other two, referring to
Talal.
“Now, here is one person I would like to have working for me,” Omar Bin
Housein says.
“We’d all like to have the generation of educated people with us now at this
time when our country needs them the most. You are the people who will take
charge of our future. I welcome you back to Iraq anytime, young Talal,” the
Minister of Transportation and Tourism says.
Ibrahim tells them all, that although Talal is coming back soon, he needs him
as well, so they had better not become too aggressive in recruiting him for their
ministries.
“But, of course. After all, this is one of your orphans, isn’t he, Ibrahim?”
Omar Salem asks.
“Yes, he’s one of my seven sons.”
“When I’m back, I’m sure there will be plenty of work to be done, and
gentlemen, I’m not about to disappoint any of you,” Talal says with a light laugh.He
notices Emily is trying to get his attention, so he excuses himself and goes to her.
Omar Bin Houseing bows slightly to his host. “My dear Ibrahim, your Talal is
a very fine young man. You must be very proud of him.”
“I’m proud of all my orphans, my friends. Yet, the one I’m most proud of is
my beloved Hakim, whom you’ll meet soon.”
“I hope he comes very soon, Ibrahim,” the Minister of Finance says.
“Yes, he will.” Ibrahim is assertive in his tone.
Emily is on the far side of the big room enjoying the attention she gets from
Mara, who introduced her to her closest friends. At one point, Mara tells Emily,
“You’re my invited guest, my dear, and it’s my privilege to present you to my
friends and other visitors; after all, you may be here for a longer period the next
time and these women, whom you have met today, will also consider you a
friend when you return.”
“I just hope I haven’t taken you out of your way, Mara.”

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Poodie James

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excerpt

“Is there anything you’d like to add?” Spear asked.
“Just that something ought to be done to control these hobos.”
Spear banged his gavel to quiet another outbreak of chattering.
Pearson avoided looking at Torgerson. He felt the mayor’s gaze
follow him when he made his way to a seat in the audience. Those
eyes, Engine Fred thought. That man’s eyes are as cold as ice.
The next man at the lectern said, “I am Richard Brown, counsel
for the Great Northern Railway, here at the request of Mayor Peter
B. Torgerson. I have a short statement, Mr. President.”
“We don’t have a president, Mr. Brown,” Spear said. “I’m just
the man in charge today. Go ahead, please.”
“The Great Northern Railway prohibits passengers on its
freight trains and trespassers in its rail yards and rights of way.
Railroad detectives who apprehend violators hold them for local
law enforcement agencies and file appropriate complaints. That is
company policy in a nutshell. I am happy to answer your
questions.”
Spear looked up from the briefing paper he had begun to read,
his eyes wide.
“You said you are a lawyer, Mr. Brown?
“By training and license, yes, sir.”
“That is the shortest speech I have ever heard from a lawyer.”
People in the chamber chuckled.
“My question is this,” Spear said, “what does your railroad do to
keep hobos off the trains in the first place?
Brown appeared to be studying the air above Spear’s head.
‘’As I explained, our detectives regularly pull transients off the
trains, run them out of the yards and have the police arrest them.
Vagrancy convictions don’t put hobos in jail for long, and they’re
soon back on the road.”
Frank Stout strained himself upright in his chair. “So, what will
your railroad do to help us get rid of these bums? That’s what the
people of this town want to know.”
“The Great Northern, sir, is not authorized to interfere in local
policy or local law enforcement, nor do we wish to do so.

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The Circle

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Emily cannot see where his eyes are looking, but she knows men well; they are all
the same, most of the time. Yet, now a younger man with sad eyes has made her
heart melt; this younger man has managed to make her feel like a young woman
again. Talal is the man for Emily; Talal is her man and she’s willing to go anywhere
he wants to go because she’s so much in love with him.
Talal turns to her side and opens his eyes. Emily is on her back and the gardener
walks to the other side of the grounds. Talal leans over and puts his hand on her. She
squirms for a bit as his touch awakens her flesh to the warmth of his palm.
She turns her head to him, smiles, and says, “You are awake; for a while you
looked like you were asleep.”
“What a beautiful, warm day; pity we have to go and leave it behind,” Talal says.
“I know. Back home, right now it’s getting colder.”
“Well, we can always hope to come back here some time soon; what would
you think of that, my love?”
Silence falls between them for a few moments. Emily feels the warmth of the
sun on her back and sees the brightness all around; the birds are very busy
singing in the beautifully kept yard. These are all things she would like to have
around all the time, and her answer comes at the right time.
“I would love to come back here sometime soon, honey.”
“What if we stayed here for a longer time next time, sweet Emily?”
“I would love to come here with you, my love, and stay as long as you like; a
week, a month, two months, however long.”
He smiles back at her; he leans closer and kisses her lips softy.
“Do you mean you could go wherever, as long as we were together?” he
whispers to her.
“Yes, I could, my sweet Talal,” she says, kissing him.
The rest of the day goes by in peace and serenity and sunshine. They have a
light lunch with Ibrahim and Mara and later in the afternoon come back and
sit to enjoy the warmth of the sun a little longer before getting ready for the
party.
Ibrahim and Mara take their customary siesta for an hour. Then they get
involved with the last preparations for the party; they want everything to be
perfect for when the guests start arriving.
Rassan is the busiest person of all. He has to coordinate the shopping, the extra
cooks hired for the night, the servers, the coat-check people, and everybody else
who will help make the party flow smoothly. He enjoys doing all this, and since he
has been with Ibrahim and Mara for a long time, knows exactly what they want
and what is expected of him. He never disappoints them.

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The Circle

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The next morning they wake to a knock on their door around nine. It is another
very bright, warm morning with the sun up on the horizon, setting the sky on
fire, like the fire they shared last night. Birds of various sizes and colors fly over
the area chirping and speaking erotic words and sighs as if suddenly an abundant
peace has spread over the world, as if everyone has forgotten about the war
games and their aftermath.
Emily puts on a pair of shorts and t-shirt; she’s still under the spell of the
previous night’s excitement with the pleasure of being on top or on her side or
under Talal, and all that rocking of the boat all night long every time another
boat went by. But it’s this brightness that mostly amazes her, and she cannot
believe her eyes which are shielded behind sunglasses, not only to protect them
from the sunshine but so that they won’t reveal the secrets of what happened the
previous night beneath the spell of the waves. Could anyone live here for a long
time? She wonders when she remembers the exchange between Talal and
Ibrahim yesterday. Yes, she would love to live here for a long time, with Talal
going up and down the gulf seeing all this beauty and enjoying one another the
same way as last night. Then a new voice comes to her and encourages her with
the statement: you can be happy any place on the globe as long as you are happy
with yourself and with the man you love. The one who dreams of a paradise far
away in a dream location has never enjoyed lovemaking the way you did last
night. Yes, she could live here for a long time, as long as Talal would like, because
her life and happiness are close to this man with the sad eyes and the sweetest
voice.
Ibrahim and Mara are already at the small table at the stern. Talal and Emily
join them for coffee and toast.
“Good morning to you,” Ibrahim says, smiling.
“Good morning, good morning,” Emily and Talal say.
“How was your sleep, my dear?” Mara asks Emily.
“It was wonderful, thank you, Mara.”
Mohamed has started cruising along the smooth water of the Gulf, taking a
southerly direction. Rassan and Abdul sit back and relax while Surnia serves
them breakfast.
They travel for an hour until they come to a place where a couple of small
bays provide plenty of area with smooth, quiet water, away from the rush of
other passing yachts. Mohamed turns off the engine and releases the anchor.

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The Circle

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“Come on, sweetheart, you need to see all this; don’t forget you won’t have
this opportunity again anytime soon.”
She perks up a bit and looks at the immense horizon on her right side with all
the sand and light; the brightness blinds her. The sun is definitely something they
have plenty of in this part of the world.
“Everything looks so bright, honey. I can’t look at this for too long because
my eyes get tired, even though I’m wearing sunglasses.”
“I know, Emily, yet you must try to see all you can,” he insists.
They’ve driven halfway to their destination when Rassan stops the car at a
small town where they’ll have lunch and the chance to stretch their legs before
they carry on. They find a small restaurant. Rassan and Abdul go inside and
check things out; when they come back appear pleased the place looks good, the
women and Ibrahim with Talal go inside. The small restaurant is filled with
travelers and there are a few other women.
Ibrahim lets Rassan order food and wine from the menu. The food will be
shared by everyone as they don’t order individual plates. Emily likes this way of
ordering as she doesn’t have to ask Talal to order things for her.
They are served on big platters and the wine comes in a carafe; Rassan fills
their glasses and they toast the health of everyone.
To Emily’s surprise, the food is very tasty, although she doesn’t know what
everything she eats is. Talal leans closer to her and asks, “Do you like the food,
sweetheart?”
She smiles at him and nods with her mouth full of delicious, creamy pate,
and her wine glass raised, ready to take a sip.
They arrive in Basra by mid afternoon when the heat of the day is at its peak.
Basra is the second largest city in Iraq with a population of 1,700,000; it’s the center
of the oil-exporting facilities in the south. There are substantial petroleum resources
and many oil wells in the area. They pump out about 150,000 barrels a day. The
fertile land around the periphery of the city produces a variety of grains, such as rice,
wheat, barley and corn. They also produce many meat and dairy products here.
During the war, the British stationed themselves in Basra and the city experienced
few effects from the war. Now, the city is completely rebuilt and in full swing with
the export of oil. In fact, most Iraqi oil wealth passes through this city.
Basra was first built thousands of years ago and was considered the cradle of
the Sumerian civilization. These days it’s called the Venice of Iraq because of its
elaborate system of canals and waterways leading to the open waters of the
Persian Gulf. The canal system is a lot more visible and functional during the
high tide, than at low tide.

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The Circle

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“Come in, my son, come in. Let me introduce you to the Minister of Finance,
Omar Salem. Here’s one of my sons from the United States, minister. His name
is Talal Ahem.”
Omar Salem looks at Talal and smiles.
“He’s one of the seven?”
“Yes.”
“I’m very pleased to meet you, sir,” Talal says, and shakes the man’s hand.
“You, too, Talal Ahem,” says the minister. “Should we expect you to return
to your country soon?”
Ibrahim smiles with obvious pleasure as he tells the minister, “He’s a
chemical engineer.”
“A chemical engineer, very good; now, this is a man our country needs, don’t
you think, my good friend, Ibrahim?”
“Yes, of course. Yes, our country needs all her talents to help her in our years
of development.”
“Please tell me, Ibrahim, when your dearest son Hakim will visit us?”
“I hope very soon in the new year, minister.”
Talal shakes the hand of the minister once again and leaves him with Ibrahim
in the study. He finds Emily in the garden and they walk together for a while.
She’s curious to know what happened.
“Who’s meeting with Ibrahim, honey?”
“It’s the Minister of Finance for Iraq.”
“Well, it certainly seems Ibrahim is well-connected here.”
“He’s well-connected all over the world, my love. What surprises me,
though, is that there are seven of us in the United States.”
“What do you mean, seven of you?”
“Hakim and I are in the United States thanks to Ibrahim’s money. Now, I
find out there are another five who have gone to the states for studies, just as
Hakim and I did. I only know Ahmed, in Los Angeles whom I see often, but who
are the other four and where are they?”
“Why did Ibrahim send you if you are not a blood relative?”
“My mission is to be with Hakim and make sure he never feels alone, nor gets
into trouble. To make sure nothing bad happens to him.”
They walk hand in hand, silently, while Talal tries to figure out who the rest
of the seven could be and where they may be now. There must be a reason the old
man sent us all to the United States. Talal knows he needs to find that out before
they return home, so he can brief Hakim before he gets involved with Bevan and
his plans.
“Tomorrow we’re going to the gulf. Are you not excited?” he asks Emily.

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